I have an unreasonable fear that my husband will not like me when I’m older.  There is no basis for this.  He has never mentioned a dislike for older people, he has never made comments about the appearance of mature women.  He has never made comments about my emerging wrinkles or parts of my body that have started to lose their original shape. 

On the other hand I am not completely crazy.  He has never been with an older woman, so there’s no way to know how he will feel about them.  He has never dated someone with deep wrinkles or a head full of grey hair.  What if he thinks it won’t matter, but it really will?

I used to think that my confidence came entirely from my inner qualities.  My appearance had nothing to do with it because I had a very average look.  I never put a lot of effort into it – makeup wasn’t my thing, I hated clothes shopping, manicures seemed like a waste of money, my hair would get frizzy within minutes of stepping outside anyway.  Since I didn’t try to get attention with outer beauty, it meant that I didn’t get attention for outer beauty. 

Something changed when I had my first child.  Parts of my body had become stretched According to reports, some younger guys aged 20 years may also experience ED due to order viagra overnight the high stress, anxiety, drinking or smoking. Some of the reasons that were detected are diabetes, stress, improper robertrobb.com tadalafil overnight delivery or insufficient supply of blood, high level of cholesterol and blood pressure. A tough fibrous, which is partially elastic outer casing, is known for surrounding this spongy material. cheap tadalafil tablets The next common thing you will hear people say is that they have a “slow metabolism”. generic levitra no prescription out and disproportional.  My face wasn’t letting go of that ninth-month-of pregnancy chubbiness.  Most disappointing of all, I got dark circled under my eyes that were far beyond my makeup skills.  That’s when I realized that while I was up on a high horse, thinking I was particularly evolved, I was just as shallow as the average shallow person.  I grieved.

Now, a decade later, I’ve gotten used to the changes that came with child bearing.  I have even accepted them.  I’m more realistic.  But as the wrinkles, increased facial hair and age spots slowly creep in, I notice little changes in how I am treated by strangers.  People, subconsciously (if I’m giving them the benefit of the doubt) whether they are young or old, male or female, value pretty, youthful women.  It is human nature. 

When I think of my doubts about my husband loving me as I age, I realize that it’s entirely my own worldview and insecurities that I’m projecting on him.  And honestly, being insecure and paranoid is more likely to turn him off then my graceful, natural aging.