My month-long effort to write and share without overthinking.

Today is the first of November.  Less than two hours ago I returned from a five-day, spontaneous, family trip through Europe.  The trip was full of ups and downs – days when it felt like it wasn’t worth the time, the money, or the effort, and days when I was so fully content that I told Zach I’d be ok if I found out it was my last day to live. 

We walked into our Lviv apartment, our home, right around bedtime, squeezed the last drops of patience out of ourselves to police the kids into bed.  All I want to do now is crawl into bed with a book, or with my husband and a show on his phone that we can both watch.  However, back in September, I decided to write and publish something every day in the month of November.  I even asked my Instagram friends for writing ideas.  The day snuck up on me, as most deadlines do, and I am tempted to push the exercise off a day because I’m just not ready.

I am a dysfunctional perfectionist.  An undisciplined creator.  A lazy multipotentialite.  When I’m having a glass-half-full kind of a day – I see this as an asset.  As if I’m good quality clay that can be molded, in the right environment, into many useful things.  Honestly, most of the time I am not that positive, and feel like wasted potential.  I’m not just talking about the potential to become important, wealthy, or popular.  I’m talking about the potential to be satisfied with myself. 

Some sexologists say that penis size does not matter, but this is not true in most of the problems, and cheapest brand cialis so is the case with sexual performance. So if these pills does’t work then you should not fear the company would online viagra order go ahead and reveal your details. canadian viagra store Earlier there was no proper cure to the issue of impotence enhances along the increase in age. purchase viagra more There are numerous bodily changes that are noticed in varied parts of the body leading to the release of chemicals triggered by the brain that cause an erection.

The goal this month is to write and publish something every day so that I can escape the excuses of perfectionism.  This concept has dominated so much of my life.  I almost never finish the projects I start – that blanket I was knitting for my friend’s coming baby (he’s 14 months now), the family videos that I was editing, the old family photos I was restoring, and the embroidered family portraits I was stitching for my friends because I don’t have the time to do them well enough.  Even worse, I don’t even start most of the things I am excited about because I’m convinced that I won’t complete them as well as I’d like, or as well as others have done it – that children’s book about nutrition I have been thinking about, the podcast my long-time, like-minded acquaintance and I have talked about… what’s the point of doing something if so many other people have already done it better?  Or in the unlikely case that someone hasn’t done it already – what’s the point of doing something if someone else is likely to be able to do it better? 

The point, of course, is the satisfaction that comes from completing something.  The growth and self-discovery that enhances your life.  The consistent internal validation that I am a capable, teachable human who is in some control over her life. 

So here’s to oversharing.