August 18th 2018. We are standing in my parent’s garage staring at all that is left of our stuff. We just spent the last 2 weeks sifting through and purging 12.3 years of marriage, 9.75 years of kid rearing, and 8.5 years worth of accumulated stuff in our Portland, OR suburban home and reducing it to 8 duffel bags and 1 medium sized moving box ready to load on a plane. We are taking turns standing on a scale trying to figure out how close we are to the 50 lbs limit with each bag so as to not trigger an extra $100 fee when flying this remaining stuff across the world. My parent’s stand by dutifully ready to help out with anything. A few close friends start to gather in the culdesac to wish us well. We’ve been building to this moment for the last 18 months, and I really just had no idea how it was actually going to feel. Was I going to feel paralyzed with fear? Excited for the possibilities? Regret for every decision that led us here? Now that I am here, it’s a weird emotional mash-up of all these things. You wouldn’t be crazy to ask… Why are you subjecting yourself to this kind of emotional turmoil? The answer, like my emotional state at this moment, is complicated.
The reasons for this move are different for me and Ksenia (my beautiful Ukrainian wife). While there are certainly overlaps, I don’t think that my explanation can adequately encapsulate the reasons she has always wanted to do his. So let me start by saying I speak for myself here, and I hope Ksenia will post her thoughts on this topic on here very soon.
I can break down my reasons into three different areas (because it has to be at least three…everything comes in threes)
1. Nothing Ventured, Nothing Gained
Ksenia and I were married June 27 2006 (I now expect all my loyal followers to send anniversary presents next year ). I was 25 and she was 20 and we had talked about doing a lot of things with our futures. I was finishing my bachelor’s degree and she was heading into a second master’s program (yes I realize I was lagging far behind in that department… my wife is smart, deal with it). For a while we entertained the idea of serving in the peace corps; we would travel the world and I would teach people about business or math while Ksenia taught biology, or work specializing in wildlife refuge management or something sciencey. We would also talk about one day moving to Ukraine to reacquaint Ksenia with her culture and expose me to said culture in a more concentrated dose than our annual traditional vegetarian Ukrainian Christmas Eve feast allowed for.
As we were finishing school the housing market tanked and brought the job market down with it. I had been given a job offer after completing an internship with a Large Global Corporation and it seemed ungrateful to turn it down and risk our future stability on our youthful whims. We decided to have Lucas and then before we knew it we were putting down roots. A mortgage, 2 more kids, and 12 years later we had become firmly planted. Planted in something really good, but something that felt entirely scripted. When I look back over these years I see one recurring theme: Risk Avoidance. Whenever a fork in the road came I had always chosen the path of least resistance. If life was a river, then i was just going with the flow, never actually choosing a path just letting the path be whatever it was.
I was digesting a large portion of this feeling at the end of 2016 when Ksenia returned to this idea that we hadn’t talked seriously about in years. “What if we moved to Ukraine this year?” The me who took the first job he was offered out of college wanted to react the way I had reacted in years previous: Turn to my wife and say “That would be awesome” then grab my phone and turn on another episode of Great British Baking Show and fall asleep half-way through the technical baking challenge. However, this time I said: “Let’s do it”. What’s the worst that could happen?
We decided to move forward as if it was going to happen, but not to actually tell any of our friends or family (because it would be embarrassing if we couldn’t make it work). The weeks and months following were an ongoing cycle of seeking out ways to make it happen and then settling into routine familiarity only to jostle myself free of those comforts (with significant encouragement from my wife) back into unfamiliar and uncomfortable world of unsurety. After running into a couple disheartening dead-ends with getting my boss at Large Global Corporation to support me working from Ukraine, and the added discouragement of receiving a total of zero responses to numerous job applications my resolve was being tested… and I caved. Not entirely, but i stopped jostling myself and just eased back into life saying “I tried, but maybe it just wasn’t meant to be”.
Before I caved though, we had decided to go to Ukraine as part of our work sabbatical in June 2017. The original plan was to use this as a time to find a place to live and make contacts for things like pediatricians and endocrinologists… but it morphed into something that more resembled a vacation, with the added intention of soul searching… did we really want to do this?
I don’t really have time to go into it here, but this trip was the greatest of my life. We spent two and a half weeks in Ukraine walking around L’viv (the city that is now our home), meeting new people, going to concerts, backpacking in the Carpathians… it was really everything i wanted in a vacation, and it helped me come to grips with the fact that we needed to do this.
We got home from Ukraine and decided we couldn’t do this in secret or “quietly” and expect it to actually happen. So we announced to both our families, and our kids that next summer we will be moving to Ukraine for 2 years. After that we felt committed and even though many other roadblocks were presented between then and when we had planned on leaving, having the goal made public and knowing it was really what we wanted to do made all the difference.
This has not been an easy transition. I’ve lost a lot of sleep along the way. I worry about so much. Will I be able to find a job? What about living in Ukraine with diabetes? How will our kids do with moving away from family and friends? Will we be able to make friends in Ukraine?
I started taking interviews once we got here this summer. Apparently businesses here are not accustomed to receiving resumes from people in the US. After several rounds of interviews, a personality test, and jumping through a few legal hoops, I am pleased to say I am starting pretty descent job next month and I am very excited about it. Living here with diabetes (and temporary residency) is way cheaper than living in the US with diabetes as a citizen, and I’m figuring out how to navigate it. Our kids are working hard, and they have good days and bad days… but I am confident that the answers to all of these worries are within our grasp. My new life lesson (which now seems pretty obvious): When you want to do something, the fact that it is difficult should not be the deal breaker. The difficulty should be a selling point.
2. Professional Rut Rider
For the last 12 years I have had a really good job. Working at Large Global Corporation has been great for my family. I have worked with really good people (mostly). We have never really wanted for anything. We’ve had all our needs met, and a fun amount of our wants have been acquired as well. I do not want to sound ungrateful for the very easy path I’ve been granted. Despite all that, it is still possible to be in such a comfortable position and not feel satisfied or content. I believe (and i recognize this is not a unique perspective) that a career and satisfaction is not always directly tied to merely providing comfort for a family. I wish it was… that would make all of this so much easier.
I mentioned this earlier, I took the first job I was offered as I was leaving school. It was a really good offer to work for a notable company. I’ve often looked back at that decision and wondered if I made that for the right reasons. I can say it. I regret it.
I haven’t been happy there. I’ve felt myself in this constant point of tension asking myself which path I need to follow. Should I leave and find something better, or stay where I am and bloom where I am planted? The path of least resistance was to stay and try and bloom. I moved around the company starting in accounting, moving to finance, and eventually landing in an IT systems administration role. I learned a lot everywhere I went, but I never found that satisfaction or sense of contentment that I have been craving. I still don’t really know what I want precisely but moving to Ukraine is providing me with a long overdue opportunity to take a risk and pull myself out of a rut that I have found myself in by just staying put and trying to dig myself out of a this hole of dis-content.
While Large Global Corporation provided security, moving to Ukraine is providing some other exciting opportunities. Sure it’s a risk, but it is a calculated one. I didn’t seek to do this based on my ability to relate to one of my favorite Shins’ lyrics “Cause’ I know there’s this side of me that/wants to grab the yoke from the pilot and just/fly the whole mess into the sea”. This is a good place to try and fail at things. The cost of living is lower and therefore overhead costs (personal and professional) are much lower.
I feel pretty uneasy about this change… but I recognize this reason for coming to Ukraine is directly linked to my “Nothing Ventured, Nothing Gained” reason. I need to experience what it feels like to take a professional risk. If necessary, I need to experience failure. I need my kids to see me take this risk work hard and make it work. I don’t want this to be perceived as me trying to experience hardship, what I am doing is taking steps toward owning my own path in a real way.
Perhaps this recent experience is an apt analogy. Back in the US I bought all of my meat at a supermarket. It came pre-weighed out, sliced up into useful pieces, and wrapped up ready for me to take home and use or freeze for later. I couldn’t tell you what part of the pig, or cow, or chicken I was cooking or eating. Here in Ukraine, we have recently had a new experience. Ksenia’s grandmother (in Ukraine she’s “Baba”, she lives in a nearby village) brought us half a pig that they recently slaughtered. It came to us in one giant piece. It still had skin on it with hair and everything. Baba showed us a couple ways to approach cutting it up, but left the bulk of the work for us. Going through the process butchering our own pig really opened my eyes up to the realities of meat processing.
Being in Ukraine is giving me a chance to wade into the ambiguity of what it means to work toward success and get way more acquainted with how the “sausage gets made”. Does that even make sense? Maybe this is not the most appropriate metaphor. It’s what I have for now.
3. Fun!
I have long prescribed to a certain philosophy regarding fun. If you hang out with me at least once or twice… you’ll hear my explain this fun ranking system at least twice. You see, there are three levels of fun (there’s always three):
- Level 1: Sitting on a beach, watching a movie, eating an entire chocolate cake in one sitting. It’s fun that is straight sucrose to your bloodstream (sometimes literally)
- Level 2: Skydiving, Bungee Jumping, Riding Roller-coasters. It is similar to level one because of it’s accessibility, however it is more exciting. It is fun that is more likely to stick out in your memory as a unique experience.
- Level 3: Backpacking, climbing a mountain, running a race, learning a new skill. It’s fun that requires sacrifice, work, and sometimes delayed gratification. It requires time and dedication. When described to most people it can be confused with hard work.
Avoiding Scams Playing the affiliate game tadalafil cost isn’t without its hitches and we would be lying if we said getting paid wasn’t a whole other story. This means that a person is able to get it done.” Jackson finally proposed to non prescription viagra Lisa within the phone towards the late section of 1993, “If I asked you to marry me, would you take action?” Lisa Marie Presley and Jackson were subsequently married in secrecy in the Dominican Republic. Everything is conserved in its natural environment; nothing is added or buying viagra canada taken away. For women, orgasmic achievement, painful intercourse problems, psychological cialis 10 mg browse that and other sexual problems) Relief from the effects of ED drugs on heart disease.
I have an extreme bias toward level 3 fun. I want to teach my kids to look for opportunities to experience this level of fun as much as possible in life. This bias that I have has driven me to take up backpacking as a hobby. A couple years ago we informed our kids that we had communicated with Santa Claus to let him know not to bring toys for Christmas. Instead he brought hiking boots and backpacks with water bladders.
Don’t get me wrong, levels 1 and 2 are perfectly legitimate kinds of fun. Fun that I indulge in often. But man… life is about level 3 fun. Fun that makes you proud to have completed it. Fun that makes you a better person.
Moving to Ukraine is level 3 fun. While here my kids and I are learning a new culture and a new language. I am learning to work harder for what I want than I have had to previously. Ksenia and I have a philosophy in life that we value experience over stuff. Moving here is us literally putting our money where our mouth is.
If you made it this far, thanks for sticking with me. Let me know in comments if you agree or disagree. If you think I’m crazy or if you want to do something like this yourself.
I’m going to take a page out of Mike Birbiglia’s playbook and use this blog as my “Secret Public Journal”. I am hoping to post here 2 or 3 times a month. So come back later to see how my mental state is holding up as I either ascend to the summit of success, or descend into a downward spiral of isolation and failure. Either way, I think you’ll at least be entertained.
It’s always good to shake up your life, it sounds like to me you have done all the right things to make it a success !! I wish you all the best on your New Adventure !!
“Shake it Up “
Thanks Ken. There’s definitely “a whole lot of shaking going on” right now.
Yup, you are totally crazy! And…I’m totally envious. What a great adventure, I wish you all the best
Awesome story and thanks for sharing it. Your family will thrive.
Thanks Mark!
I’m impressed, inspired, and can completely relate! Congratulations on the move and bravo for taking the leap!. You have a great attitude about the experience going into it and you appreciate the work involved so you can’t go wrong.
Thanks Justin. I appreciate the validation. I wish I could say I don’t need it, but it sure makes things feel better when people don’t think you’re a complete nutcase.
Awesome! Love it! All so well said and inspiring.
If I could get one person to pass up a comfortable salary and live in a country in active conflict with Russia it will all be worth it. 😉
I think I might write my next blog about the whole Russia thing.
You truly amaze me, Zach! I am so excited to watch your adventure. It’s been a roller coaster ride going through this with you with a complete range of emotions. But at the end of the day, I love you and want you to experience Level 3 fun and find the greatest happiness life has to offer. I’m here with you every step of the way! (Still trying to forgive you for taking my grandkids away, though.)
Thanks mom. You’ll see why we did it when you come visit this summer. Summer in Lviv is pretty great.
What an adventure! Best of luck to you and your family. I would love to have the courage to do something like this as you know, I have never been back to Brazil and one day I hope to let my kids and my wife
to get a chance to experience it.
Now that’s something I want to read about. Are you or Adg in contact with anyone in Brazil?
Dude, you are crazy, but often thought of that myself. Germany, Ireland or somewhere else. Always hoped for a 2 year assignment im Israel but never panned out. Is 2 years your max allowed stay? What happens in 2 years? All i have to say is bravo. Good for you.
I once saw this movie, cant remember the name atm. But in it. The main character was describing us as a moving car through life, sometimes a tree pops up and becomes a road block. There were some other words said, but in the end. Don’t be a tree to your own success and fun and whatever other cool name you can add.
My new mantra… moooove b*#%@ get out the way.
I think what you’re doing takes guts. I’ve had similar thoughts over the years but life threw some curve balls that I’m not sure I can completely bounce back from. Good on you for trying to live at level 3.
Sorry to hear about the curve balls. You’re a good person Karen. One of the most genuine I’ve had the chance to work with. We humans tend to be “bouncier” than we think. At least I hope so. I hope that for you.
Ok ~ first of all, I loved it. I am a very picky reader. I don’t like to read personal blogs much because…well… I don’t find them very interesting. I read every word of yours and not only found it entertaining (level 1 fun), but I found myself search soul~searching about risk taking and going through the motions. You can add talented writer to your list of many gifts. Not a gift of nature like the ability to run fast, but a gift that has been nurtured and honed over through much wading and sifting through the good,bad,and ugly that has been handed to us in the last decade of current events. I am very serious. I like your style of writing. Please please please place high on your bucket list writing a novel or maybe a Dave Barry style book. I would pay money to read your musings.
This is high praise from one of our favorite people, Zach ol’ buddy! I’m with Bro. Maurer!
Careful. You’re feeding an ego that is already toying with a future full of risky behavior. I’ll start with a year of blogging and then we’ll look at “published author” somewhere down the road.
I whole-heartedly agree. I was surprised (but should I have been?) to find myself reading quickly with excitement so I could see what you were going to say next; to discover where your next thought would take me.
You seem to have quite a knack for writing… at least in short form. I look forward to reading your next post and would definitely read your book about “Level 3 Fun life” when you write it.
Yesss!! Zach! Okay, so you are an incredible writer. Your thoughts are precise and clear and you are real and vulnerable and so engaging. If you ever write a book, let me know.
Your fun system. Amen. Level three fun is what life is all about. The hard work kind of fun that makes you feel accomplished and proud of having the tenacity that most people looks at you with crazy eyes (or admiration) over.
I so admire your family for taking this leap of faith into success or failure. But I know one thing: when we try really hard at something really hard, we always succeed… Even if the outcome is entirely different than we anticipate at the starting line.
I’ve learned as we grow and mature that life doesn’t get easier. We don’t ever “have it all figured out” and we don’t really ever know what exactly it is that we want. Its like a perpetual scavenger hunt of self discovery along with our spouses and children. And we get to discover and learn and fail and grow and contribute to the world in our own unique ways.
I genuinely and completely admire you and Ksenia for going on this journey and for doing this really hard thing with you children. And thank you so much for sharing this journey with us!
Keep writing, keep learning, keep sharing…and good luck with your new job!!
Kimberly
Seeing you guys thrive in Hawaii has been a true inspiration for us. Glad we still know you so we can keep learning from each other.
Wow! Whether this experience “succeeds” or “fails” it will definitely provide you and your family with an amazing experience. I wish you the best!
Thanks Shar. The best backpacking trips always involve tales of the sketchiest conditions. Life is the same… as long as stupidity doesn’t play toо large a role.
Yes! I am so happy to read this and know that you’ve made the leap with your entire family. Your journey is very relatable to me, and I (we) 100% understand the difference between secret planning and public planning. The latter is the way to go if you really want something to come to fruition. The public commitment holds you to your vision in an important way, not to mention people ask really good questions you may have not yet considered! Keep sharing, I’ll love to read along.
Quinn! You are another one of my inspirations. Seeing you leave Large Global Corporation and live such a genuine life has really helped bring me here. Thanks!
Admiration, tinge of jealousy, but all of this rings true. Keep it up!! You guys got this.
Thanks Marissa. I’ll keep planting seeds. Maybe one day you’ll be in… wait where did Dade serve his mission… France? Brazil?
My husband just walked in the room as I was about to write a comment. He said “sometime less is better”. Obviously he didn’t know what I was reading and as he started talking shout some technical thing at work .. my mind wander back to you and your blog. We get so wrapped up in all the details daily we forget to just live..stop planning or living to others expectations. I am happy you all are growing and loving life. Choosing to live it instead of constantly preparing for that moment. Going back to basic. Which brings me back to the comment my husband said to me “Sometimes less is better”. I enjoyed this reflection and thank you for writing and sharing it. Keep safe , be grateful, and live it. Prays for you all. DeAnna
We are definitely going minimalist on this whole operation. Living with less makes room for more experience.
Well said!
Thanks Pop.
This is excellent! I had no idea you moved. You only get one life, make it one you love. Super happy for you!
Thanks Kris. Entrepreneurs like you have always been great examples of the exact traits I’m trying to foster here. Thanks for that.
A while ago you sought me out regarding a hard life switch I had publicly talked about. You said you had taken a piece of my experience and leaned on it. Now it’s my turn to gain from your experience and break from comfort. We have been searching for a way to propel our lives, and that of our kids into a challenging and rewarding adventure. I can’t wait to read more Zach! Im inspired. Thank you for sharing.
Thanks Kristin. I love the give and take aspect of life. No one is truly superior to another. we can learn from anyone and everyone. Can’t wait to see what you guys do next!
Well said Zachary! Your story reminds us some events that happened about 22 years ago when we moved in a very reverse direction. New country, new language, culture, food (when you don’t know what part of pig that piece of meat was cut from 😊) and no job… But we already were infected by that “Fun3” virus and it provided us enough energy to thrive through the storms of life and made this country our second homeland. Hiking and outdooring was (and still is) very important ingredient in our life. So wish you to succeed in your life in Ukraine. We are sure you will not regret! And we are very proud of both of you. Love you all!
Thank you for bringing your daughter into my life to make this kind of experience possible.
Zach, as a sister of a friend of your mother’s, you know I have watched you and your family from afar for many, many years. I have always been impressed with your talent, the parenting strategies that you use, your sense of humor, and now your sense of adventure mixed with hard work. What an incredible learning curve you are sharing with your children. Living in at least two countries will open their eyes and hearts in more ways than would ever have happened if you had stayed in Oregon. I’m rooting for you, for your family, and for the success of this grand experiment. I can’t wait to read of your further adventures, struggles, and successes.
Thanks Pam! If in the end my kids don’t hate us too bad for subjecting them to this I think they’ll actually thank us. So far so good.
Zach and Ksenia,
Congratulations! Both of you and your children (especially your children) are in for one wild amazing ride. We did a similar “call me crazy but we are leaving the country” move when our oldest was 10 and our youngest was 2. In our home, we call it “taking the tangent”. It was supposed to be for “just” 2 years but we didn’t move back to the states until our oldest started college. The eight years in between were rich in priceless once in a lifetime experiences that formed each of our children as well as ourselves into who we are today. It’s only logical that my wife and I would now find ourselves enjoying our lives volunteering for our church in Serbia. Experiences are the true currency of life. Best of luck in attaining your dreams and we look forward to future posts.
p.s. – One of our branch members has a daughter serving in Ukraine. If you come across Сестра Вуценович tell her hello.
Thanks for the encouragement Merritt. Where was it you guys went that lasted 10 years?
We spent eight years overseas: one year in Thailand, two years in Taiwan, two years in The Netherlands and two years in Singapore. (1995 to 2003).
Brilliant, Zach! So inspired by your fearless trek. Have followed your level 3 fun adventures with your family on FB for some time now and it is very interesting to learn your backstory. Best wishes and I look forward to reading more!
I don’t know if “fearless” is the right word… I might allow “courageous” because it implies doing something despite mounting fears. But even that sounds more gallant than how I actually perceive my current state.
I always thought we should be friends IRL. I’m sorry that didn’t happen while I was at large global corporation. Hope we can stay in touch this way.
Read with interest every word, Zach! Kudos for your courage in shaking things up and trying some new approaches to life. I grew up in a Level-3-fun family. BYU was my 13th school!
My childhood was good in that moving a lot and traveling frequently exposed me to many people, lifestyles and ideas. It also forced me to come out of my shell – since I was naturely shy as a kid. But for my personality, to have such a lifestyle my whole childhood, was exhausting. When I married I was completely ready to settle down forever…
(And you know the rest of that story!)
I guess, from my experience, bottom line is: if a person feels compelled to shake up their life – they HAVE to go for it! At least be willing try big changes or be open to new possibilities.
But I have found the world is well-balanced by many who don’t feel a desire for variety and feel deeply satisfied with a different flavor of fun. If you come home and decide to settle-in for a while, just trust that decision takes a lot of courage and self-knowledge, too!
We loved your family musical contribution last night. Your tender voice touched us all. Tears were standing in everyone’s eyes. They love and miss your family so much.
Thanks Salli, your encouragement means a lot.
The world is full of all kinds introverts and extroverts, adventurers and homebodies, explorers and settlers… and it is possible to be a mixture of these too. I think the most important part is to challenge ourselves, partly to push ourselves out past our comfort zone, and partly to truly learn what our boundaries really are. Find the sweet spot and then live it the bast you can.
This is awesome Zach. I feel inspired by your story and can’t wait to keep reading how you are all doing.
Thanks Melissa
Oh man, what a good read! Maybe you should be a professional blogger instead?
You so perfectly encapsulated my feelings looking at all of our stuff headed to the barge and then pour remaining suitcases the night before we left for Hawaii: excitement, anxiety, and every other feeling all rolled together.
As to the part about being willing to fail, I believe that to be a common hurdle for people. People are so uneasy with the feeling of failure that they avoid situations where it might happen. And that doesn’t lead to growth, new experience, or major success even. It is for this reason that I’ve decided to change my kid’s relationship with failure. I want them to love failure for what it is (The pathway to success). So for the past few years we have begun celebrating failure. Every so often I ask my kids at the dinner table how they failed today. I ask them what they learned and share my failures and what I learned. It can be as simple as trying to do a back flip on the tramp or even to skip a rung on the monkey bars. I tell them “good failure!” And then I encourage them to keep trying for things that are so hard that they aren’t certain of success. We give smiling high fives if it was a really momentous or disastrous failure. We literally celebrate it, and the kids are excited to share. In this way they no longer fear failure. They’re comfortable with it, so that when the certainty of failure eventually rears its head, it is no longer a stumbling block to them. They simply pick themselves up, dust themselves off and move on with increased perspective…or so we hope anyway.
Congratulations on the new journey. I’m sure it will be the ride of a lifetime. And please keep sharing as you go along!
What a huge leap my friend! I know what you mean about being risk averse. You made the right move it sounds like, it wasn’t on a whim or dragging your family somewhere completely foriegn. You and your wife are on board and are having a great Level 3 fun experience.
Hi Zach – Robbie forwarded on your blog – I am so excited for you and your family!! My mantra has and always will be “one adventure to the next….” I am excited to read about your adventures and compare notes with what my Peace Corps service was like in Armenia. I always knew when I could get meat when I saw the cow’s head hanging outside the door of the market. Oh the fun things you will experience!! Enjoy!!!
Kathryn
Thanks, Zach. We are happy to have you here in Ukraine!
We went through a similar process coming out to L’viv and its an incredible support to have another family here in such a familiar circumstance. One of the toughest things you will find in this journey is finding people who really get it – get the reason you came, the experiences you share here, and the changes happening inside of you. It can make things kind of lonely, but will definitely strengthen you as a family.
This blog is already amazing and I look forward to future posts! And if you ever need someone to vent to, be sure to call.
I too have have been longing to jump like you have! I find more courage in that than anything. I keep jumping opening more and more businesses currently at 5 running but still don’t feel accomplished. I need to make the jump and travel see the world. Your words will stick with me and I plan on making those trips maybe see you one day. To bad you will miss out 20 year reunion
What an adventure for all lifetimes! You did it! To have made it before you are old and can enjoy it and get to raise your kids to be well rounded. I look forward to reading your future posts. Also how blessed your wife must feel to get to be in the land of her people and let your kids experience her family and home. This is a special thing and I hope you all thrive. My thoughts will be with you on this journey. I guess to be cliche YOLO